Wednesday, December 30, 2015

In which Primo brings home more junk and we fight on the way home from the airport but then we realize how much Ted is ticking both of us off so we recover

Things that Primo has brought home on this trip

  • Alleve
  • Two lobster cracking utensils. In the almost ten years I have known Primo, we have never cooked lobster (Primo: No! That's not true! I only brought one lobster cracker! You brought the other one earlier! - which is true - I brought it home as a nutcracker.)
  • An old Emily Post book from 1965
  • A glass cat
  • A brass cat
  • A pull thingy with a glass pig on the end
  • A cheese grater
  • An All-Clad pan (in Primo's defense, I did say yes to that one)
  • A potato masher
  • A cheese grater (I also said yes to that)
  • Cat refrigerator magnets
  • A photo of his nice grandparents
  • Photos of the cats he had when he was a kid
  • A pair of wooden shoes he got when he was a kid and they went to Holland, MI
  • One of two hip flasks from the house
  • A bunch of legal papers, including things like the title to the house, that were not in Sly's office, not in the file cabinet (that's for naked photos of Sly and Doris), but in the spare room, where the potty chair, the craft equipment, some old board games, and an empty bookcase were stored

What he did not bring home
  • A lot more cat and pig junk
  • An old crocheted shawl of Doris' that he thought I might like because I am always cold and that I would not have liked even if it had not belonged to Doris because it is an old, frayed, dingy shawl. But mostly because it belonged to Doris. Yes, I know I am a b*tch.

What we fought about:

On the way home from the airport, Primo detoured downtown to the downtown post office. Why? Because he wanted to get some bills in the mail. 

These are payments for his father's bills.

That he wants in the mail one day early.

For someone whose credit rating no longer matters.

I went straight from work to the airport and left earlier than I had planned because his flight was supposed to be early, which it was, only he didn't get off the plane until much later because the plane had to wait for a gate. So I waited 27 minutes in the cellphone waiting area and I had had water before I left work so I HAD TO PEE and I wanted to get home and he was detouring to go to the darn post office?

So we fought.

But then we bonded over how Ted is still being a jerk.

The two emails Ted sent this week, referring to Primo's email that he would not reimburse him $875 for a frequent flier ticket.

Subject: Re: Reimbursable FL travel costs
From: ted
Date: Wed
CC:  tedswife
To: primo

As noted, I’ll address this later.

Primo, your behavior is the OPPOSITE of what [Ted's other half brother from his mom] is as the Trustee of my mother’s estate and the OPPOSITE of what [TedsWifesSister] is as the Trustee of [TedsWifesMom, who is not dead] estate. Unfortunately, it’s revealing a lot about you that I don’t care to know.

As the Custodian of [TedsSon], a Named Beneficiary, I have full legal rights to know everything about how our father’s trust is being handled.

You are succeeding in rapidly losing my trust.

Subject: Re: Reimbursable FL travel costs
From: ted
Date: Wed
CC: tedswife
To: primo

Just opening this email now. Primo, I feel sorry for you. I shall re-read this later and act upon it.


  1. Good god this dude needs an intervention.

  2. OH NOES! You might lose Ted's TRUST, which would mean...I guess it means he wouldn't talk to you!


  3. "Dear Ted.

    They are not dead. Therefore, those are not estates. They are resources of living persons who are giving instructions. If they were dead, the handlers would be very irresponsible trustees if they were acting in a capacity that is so far removed from what I have done - which is already a generous interpretation of what the legal documents say that I *can* do. I am bound by those documents. I can be sued if I do not follow them. I don't particularly want to be sued. Although I suspect that you will try anyway. You are rapidly losing the last minuscule shred of respect that I had for you."

    - AC

    P.S. Okay, for actual sending to Ted, change that line about irresponsible trustees to "would be dealing with a different set of instructions as specified by the writer of the wills/trusts they were executing."

  4. "As the Custodian of [TedsSon], a Named Beneficiary, I have full legal rights to know everything about how our father’s trust is being handled."
    If I remember the prior emails Primo is keeping Ted abreast of the dealings with the trust. I really hope that Primo is going to give this over to someone else once the dust settles. Or at least (even though there will be costs to the trust) that all correspondence with Ted regarding the trust goes through a lawyer. Primo should stop responding to Ted directly.

  5. Ted's irrational. He doesn't "hear" what Primo says, because he is too busy roaring, "Me and My Needs!" Ted's like an 8 track cassette - an endless loop of guilt tripping and criticizing...somebody needs to grab that tape and give it a good yank!

  6. I really hope 2016 is better for you & Primo and you let the lawyers deal with Ted and his irrational beliefs & actions. The fodder for your blog continues to be great, but it has to be taking a toll on your emotional health :-(

  7. Ted is a bully. That is all.

  8. Hi everyone - first time at a computer in a few days. We have spent the past few days with Primo's best friend, Sam, who is a lawyer. Sam's brother is also a lawyer - he is general counsel for an F50 corporation that will not be named here because - well, anonymity.

    Anyhow, both Sam and his brother agreed that Ted is a jerk and that Primo needs to get Ted out of his life. I hope I can get Primo to follow their advice.

    1. If two lawyers who have Primo's interests at heart, plus you, aren't enough to convince him, how about adding a poll! Poll your readers, your friends,even, heck, random people on the street.("Oust Ted: yes or no") Politicians respond to poll results, right?