Tuesday, February 7, 2017

In which Primo suggests that I am just so, so much better at removing petroleum-based stains from all clothing, especially his

Primo: I got vaseline on my pants!

Me: How?

Primo: I was at Sandy's house and she wasn't home but one of her [Senate candidate's] signs was crooked so I straightened it out for her.

Me: And?

Primo: And she had put vaseline on it because there have been some sign-stealing incidents on her street!

Me: That's what you get for meddling with someone else's business.

Primo: I wasn't meddling! I was trying to help! I was doing the right thing!

Me: And you are not seeing a problem with this?

Primo: It was the right thing to do!

Me: Uh huh.

Primo: Will you clean the stain off my pants?

Me: No, but I will tell you how to do it.

Primo: No! I want you to do it!

Me: That's OK. I'll just tell you.

Primo: But - but - I don't have time! I'm busy!

Me: Oh, and I didn't spend all day working?

Primo: But you already know how to do it!

Me: Yes.

Primo: And you're already good at it!

Me: All you need is practice.

Primo: But - but - but - it's not something I should need to know how to do. It happens so rarely.

Me: So?

Primo: It's your telling me I need to learn how to bake an apple pie. You're already so good at it that there's no reason for me to learn how.

Me: Now you are advocating for division of labor and specialization?

Primo: Yep.

Me: Kind of ironic that the only time you are in favor of free market policies is when they benefit you.


  1. If my husband came home and told me he got Vaseline on his pants I would shoot first and ask questions later.

    By the way, how does one remove Vaseline from fabric? Just curious.

    1. I think we used Dawn, which is the miracle detergent. It is the only thing I have ever found that will get grease out of clothes.