Primo: I told my mom how you buy a lot of your clothes at consignment stores and that you sell clothes there, too.
Primo: She wants me to take her winter clothes back with me so you can sell them and send her the money. Or she would ship them.
Me: What? No!
Primo: I thought I would ask you first before I give her an answer.
Me: Why did she take her winter clothes with her to Florida in the first place?
Primo: Please let’s not get into that. You know what they are like.
Me: No. I do not want to schlep your mom’s old out of style old-lady clothes around and try to sell them.
Primo: But she has some nice things!
Me: Primo! She is 5’10” and 119 pounds, so she is already a limited size. And even if there were a ton of tall, slim women around here, they probably wouldn’t want old-lady clothes. Second, they have been living in Florida for years, so her winter clothes are way out of style. The places I go won’t take anything from more than one season ago. Third, your mom does not seem to – well – I have never seen her really dressed up. I have never seen her dressed nicely.
Primo: She has some designer things!
Me: Like what? Diane Von Furstenberg dresses sell for an arm and a leg. If she has those, I will lose 20 pounds and grow five inches taller just so I can wear them.
Primo: Let me look. OK. I am looking at some dresses. Valerie Stevens?
Me: I have never even heard of her. Let me look her up.
I run to my computer. If I can make some money out of this, maybe.
Me: Oh. Her clothes sold at Palais Royale and Bealls.
Me: Primo. That’s like saying you can get it at Target.
Primo: Oh. OK. What about Oleg Cassini? Even I have heard of him.
Me: Let me look on eBay. Not good – it’s all under a hundred dollars.
Primo: What do I tell her?
Me: Well, you can’t tell her that nobody wants her old clothes. It will hurt her feelings. Just tell her that the places I take my clothes to require an attached dry-cleaning tag—
Primo: They do?
Me: No, but there are places that do, so it’s only half of a lie. Tell her that she would have to have each item dry cleaned. And that the seller gets only 40% —
Primo: That doesn’t seem fair! Why should the store get so much of the money?
Me: If you don’t like, find another way to sell your used clothes. ANYHOW, and that most places won’t take anything past season, which is true. You don’t need to tell her that I am not about to haul her old clothes around trying to find someone who wants them.