Tuesday, December 25, 2012

In which Sly and Doris have the annual Airing of the Grievances with Primo

And now a break from political programming.

Primo went to his mom and dad's this weekend. Got back last night - Christmas Eve. Yesterday morning, he sent me an email:


It must be Festivus here because tonight we had the Airing of the Grievances!  After I spent much of the day working (taking apart and cleaning the sofa, doing a couple of loads of laundry, cooking flank steaks) and we had a delicious dinner, my dad finally erupted with criticism of your lack of respect for him and especially for my mom.  

So we had a good conversation about it on the way back from the airport.

In no particular order, here are the things Sly complained about.

1. He mentioned again that I didn't offer him oatmeal.

2. I ate all of something one time when I was at their house - which has been more than two years - that was supposed to be for everyone. We don't know what this food was or if anyone had said, "GD, we are saving that for later." Remember these are the people who don't each lunch.

3. They want a better relationship with me. I am not showing them enough respect. If Primo doesn't facilitate a better relationship between them and me, they will write him out of the will. (Primo snapped to his father that if that's what he wanted, then Primo and I would take care of ourselves and Sly and Doris could take care of themselves and we would have nothing to do with each other.)

Me: Why? Why do they want a better relationship with me?

Primo: I don't know.

Me: Seriously. They don't like me. They didn't want you to marry me. So what's changed? Why do they want me around now?

Primo: I don't know.

Me: Do you think they really want me around?

Primo: No. I think my dad just can't stand it that you don't respect him. You need to acknowledge that he is a superior human being.

Me: What makes him superior?

Primo: He thinks because he's smarter than you are.

Me: I'm not sure he is, but even if he were, that's not a reason to kowtow to someone. Smart is something you're born with. I might as well as acknowledge he's superior for having detached earlobes. You don't respect for qualities you're born with. You get respect for what you do. Is he a nice person? Is he generous? Has he accomplished good things? No.

Primo: He thinks he's superior.

Me: So they don't want a better relationship with me - if they did, they would do something, like email or call me. Your dad just wants me to toe the line. He wants to be the one who is rejecting me, not the other way around.

Primo: That's it.

Me: Screw them.

And then this morning - when I asked if they liked the Christmas cookies that Primo had asked me to send along with him -

Me: Did they like the cookies?

Primo: They said you didn't send enough of them.

Me: That's it? They complained there weren't enough?

Primo: And they didn't like the hazelnut ones.

Me: So they didn't like the cookies and there weren't enough of them.

Primo: Pretty much.

I might be adding to this as I remember more and as Primo and I talk today.


  1. Theres something about holidays that just brings out the worst in some (superior) people.

    Went thru some similar things with MIL some years ago and have zero suggestions for solving it. Well, actually when she got senile she loved me. Perhaps my suggestion is to just wait.

    Hope you did not allow this to ruin your celebration with Primo.

    1. Webb, nope, our day was not ruined. And indeed, the more we talked about it, the funnier it got. Not enough cookies? Cookies they didn't even LIKE? (OK, they liked some of them, but they hated the rest.) I think we just have to wait for them to die or become senile.

  2. Very right GD. You may wait or better still never mind.

    1. Jamil, I am hoping that they become nice at some point, but I am not holding my breath. But yes- in the meantime, I just laugh at each new transgression. And then I blog about it.