Thursday, March 14, 2013

Monday October 1 Primo talks to Isabel about the end of the alimony

Primo talked to Isabel last night. He had to remind her that the last alimony check was sent in September.

It did not go well. Some of you may have read the part where Isabel has cancer. (Or is it Imelda? What do I call her on this blog? Obviously, neither Isabel nor Imelda is the real name of Primo's ex wife.)

She has had cancer for several years. It is a crummy, crummy situation. It is crummy enough that Primo has at moments sympathized with Newt Gingrich, who allegedly took divorce papers to one of his exes while she was in the hospital for cancer treatment. Isabel used her cancer as an excuse not to sign the divorce papers for a long time.

Who can blame her? What would you do if you discovered you had a horrible disease while you and your soon to be ex were negotiating a divorce that you hadn't wanted in the first place? 

I do not blame Isabel at all for dragging it out. She was struggling to survive.

I will say, though, that her history of poor financial management and decision making made all of this harder than it had to be.

So anyhow. Primo called her to remind her that there was no more alimony coming.

And of course she still wants money.

She hasn't worked since before the divorce five years ago. 

She is still sick.

She is on disability and medicare.

She has a house she couldn't afford when she bought it (after she and Primo separated) and certainly can't afford now. It doesn't help that the house has declined in value about 20%.

It is awful. AWFUL.

But it is no longer Primo's problem. Legally, he owes her no more money and I would say that morally, his obligation is ended as well. 

That doesn't mean he isn't tortured over it.

I don't know how to fix things with Isabel. I feel awful for her. She doesn't deserve to have cancer - but we can't fix this for her.


  1. Replies
    1. It's horrible. She's made bad decisions, but it's not like she can go back in time and fix them.

  2. I had thought, perhaps hoped, that "our" generation was better prepared for things like that - specifically, that the women of our generation were more self sufficient; had realized early on that they were ultimately responsible for their own safety net.

    As devastated as I would be if Mitchell wanted a divorce after all these years, I do have my own retirement income and I could survive on my own (and I am sure I could learn to love eating cat food!). But I certainly would not be buying too much house.

    You are both good people to feel so badly about the situation.

    1. Webb, she made such bad decisions. Primo didn't know when he married her that she was such a horrible money manager. She had a lot of debt, hadn't filed her taxes in years, etc.

      He says if he had known, he would not have married her. That's part of the reason it took us so long to get married! He wanted to make sure he wasn't making the same mistake again. Which of course he wasn't: I have been supporting myself since I got out of college. Isn't that what people do?