Saturday, March 16, 2013

Thursday Oct 4 Primo's mother breaks her wrist‏

I am really really really starting to understand the people who would rather be at work than be at home. There has been way too much drama at our house recently. First the stuff with Isabel- which we knew was coming, but still - does torture bother you any less because you anticipated it? - and now more drama with Sly and Doris.

Sly went into the hospital on Tuesday for knee surgery.

Last night, Doris, visiting him at the hospital, fell. She broked her wrist and cracked her kneecap.

Doris is already pretty feeble and was not going to be able to do much to help Sly in his recovery. Now they are both hobbled.

I was at a play last night, so I didn't get home until 10:30, which was awful because I am usually in bed by 10 and the play wasn't even that good. My friend and I should have left at half time. But neither of us suggested it to the other, even though we were both thinking it. That's the problem when you don't communicate: you end up at the second half of a play that neither of you are enjoying that much.

I didn't get home until almost 11. Primo had been home for a while. He'd been at a debate-watching party, but in the middle of the party, Stephanie called to tell him about Doris.

Now Primo is all verklumpt about Doris.

"I worry about her," he says. "My dad says she falls all the time. She never eats - she only weighs 120 pounds." [She is 5'9", so that's pretty skinny.] "All she does is drink. He tries to get her to stop drinking but she won't."

Considering that Sly is the main reason Doris drinks, I can understand her reluctance to quit.

Primo is worried that his parents can't take care of themselves. He is angry that they have refused to do any planning about moving into assisted living or even about finding help so they can stay in their house.

"Why am I expected to take care of everyone?" he asks.

Which is a fair question.

I guess I am more ruthless than he is. Maybe it goes back to my lifeguard training. They taught us that when we are rescuing someone, it is likely that in his panic, the drowner will start to pull the lifeguard under. The proper response of the lifeguard is to go deeper in the water to save himself. You can't save someone else if you are dead.


  1. What a disaster! I feel sorry for Doris, but I'd let the other family members take the strain for this one. Why should Primo always have to charge in on a white horse?

    1. Exactly! I have suggested to him that he go to Al-Anon, but no dice so far.