Primo: My mom wants gift ideas for you.
Me: What? No! Tell her not to get me anything. I don’t need anything and I don’t expect anything from them just because we will be in their house.
Plus I don’t want to get into a present-exchanging tradition with people who have made it clear that they don’t like me. If I hardly give presents to or get presents from the people I love, why would I want anything from people who don’t like me?
Primo: That won’t work. Just make a list of small things. She can pick one and then she’ll feel like she’s doing it right and you won’t have to feel obligated.
Me: I don’t even exchange gifts with my own family. When my brother and sister and I visit my mom, she considers that her gift. She knows flights to Colorado are not cheap and she knows that we don’t get a lot of vacation. Plus none of us want more stuff.
Primo: She thinks it’s the right thing to do.
Me: I don’t want to get into this with her. I don’t want anything from your parents.
Primo: I know. But if you don’t make a list, she’ll pick something out on her own.
Me: Good point.