Thursday, July 13, 2017

Ch 6 A stranger sends Primo a manatee, a sea turtle, and a jaguar for his birthday, which of course is just what he has been wanting (although at least it’s not a custom-made puzzle, but it’s still not returnable)

Tomorrow is Primo’s birthday. Yes, I am making him those creamed onions again.

Today, three large envelopes – 11”x17" - came in his mail.

He opens envelope number one. He does it very carefully, using one of his three letter openers, because he wants the opening to be flawless (he keeps his bills inside the envelopes they come in, even after they’ve been paid), and slides out the contents.

Which are

·         An 11”x17" photo of a sea turtle
·         A certificate of adoption
·         A calendar. For this year. Even though it’s May so the year is almost half over.

Me: Just what you’ve always wanted. More stuff that serves no purpose whatsoever except to signal the virtue of the gift giver.

He opens the second envelope.

It contains

·         An 11”x17" photo of a wolf
·         A certificate of adoption
·         A calendar

He opens the third envelope.

It contains

·         An 11”x17" photo of a panther
·         A certificate of adoption
·         A calendar

Me: Well. That is something else. Not one, but three adopted animals.

Primo: Uh huh.

Me: Why can't your parents just send normal gifts? Why can't they just send a check? Or something you want?

Primo: We don't know that it's from them.

Me: It is a random gift from someone you don’t know? I guess it could be that.


  1. And let me guess - he kept all three envelopes and their contents?

    A lady who obsessively throws stuff away but who is married to a dude who obsessively keeps stuff

    (the part that really annoys me is that in order to achieve my optimal level of stuff in the house, I would have to get rid of MY things I want to keep, while he saves every single 401k statement, every insurance policy from a house we no longer own, every ugly flannel shirt with the tags still on ("but my mom and grandma bought me that!" OK, so WEAR IT!!), etc., etc.)

    1. I know the feeling. Boy, do I know the feeling.