Primo: Oh! I forgot to tell you. Guess what my mom and dad are complaining about now?
Primo: You used bad cabbage. You are a Bad Cabbage User.
Primo: Bad cabbage. My mom said you used bad cabbage.
Me: What is she talking about? What is bad cabbage?
Primo: Apparently, when you made the coleslaw, you used bad cabbage. It had brown spots on it.
Me: Yes. Because cut cabbage rusts on the cut part, which is why I trim the brown part off before I use the rest for food. Which is how normal people do it.
Primo: My mom thought you should have thrown all of it away.
Me: Oh Lord. She thought I should have thrown away an entire half cabbage?
Primo: I guess so.
Me: Waste half a cabbage? Because of some bad spots that can be cut off?
Me: That’s wasteful. And your mother – an environmentalist.
Primo: At least she is not a Bad Cabbage User. And she and my dad think cloth napkins are really unhygienic.
Me: Yeah, I already had that conversation with her. I can’t win, can I?