Sly stands. “I want to offer a toast to our son, Primo, who is our only joy. He is intelligent and accomplished. He is the only thing in our life we are proud of.” (Blah blah blah more stupid boring stuff here that is just blather.) “My first marriage was not a success. I hope Primo is as happy in his second marriage as I am in mine.”
· Not once does Sly say my name
· Not once does Sly refer to “Primo’s wife”
· Not once does he say the word “Welcome”
· He does say the word “happy” once, but it is almost a curse – he and Doris are miserable, as far as I can tell
A silence falls over the two tables. Sly and Doris have no friends. Their chief joy is trash talking other people, including their own family, and waiting for 4:00 so they can start drinking. What’s the point of waiting until 4:00 anyhow? If you’re a drunk, you’re a drunk. Own it. If you want to drink, drink. Waiting for an arbitrary deadline does not make you less of a drunk.
Sure. Thanks, Sly. This is the happiness I want for sure.
 Sly doesn’t really believe that. He thinks Primo should have gotten a PhD.