Me: I will finally be able to put my parenting theories into action.
Primo: What theories?
Me: I am convinced most parents do it wrong. They cut the grass even though they have teenagers. They buy a dishwasher even though they have kids. They spend all their time watching their kids’ soccer practices. Why have kids if you are not going to delegate chores to them?
Primo: I did chores.
Me: You did dishes? Put away your own laundry? Cleaned the bathroom? Dusted?
Primo: No, my mom did all that.
Me: What did you do?
Primo: I helped my dad with the yard.
Me: What were you responsible for inside?
Primo: What do you mean?
Me: I mean at my house, we made our own beds, we made our own lunch for school the night before, we cleaned our bathroom, we put away our clean clothes – my mom washed, dried, and folded them, which I now realize she should not have done once we were past a certain age, we took turns drying dishes as my mom washed, we set the table, we vacuumed, we dusted.
Primo: Oh. My mom did all that.
Me: What?! Really?!
Primo: Yes. Is that weird?
Me: YOUR MOTHER MADE YOUR BED?
Me: Until you were how old?
Primo: Until I went to college.
Me: Oh man. That explains SO MUCH.