Ch 12 Primo and I discuss The Booze Situation and whether we should hide the liquor. Do you expect your houseguests to buy their own booze when they are heavy drinkers/alcoholics? Is that reasonable? Or is that inhospitable? How much booze should a host buy for her guests?

Me: Are we supposed to supply your parents' bourbon?

As a hostess, I expect to feed, shelter, and otherwise provide for my guests. It is what one does.

JT, my former boyfriend, is a vegetarian, not because he is a lover of sacred cows but because his mother belonged to some weird cult and raised him without meat. He gags at the smell of it. Yet when we would go to friends’ for dinner, he wouldn’t let me tell them about his habits. “I’ll eat what they have that isn’t meat,” he would say.

One of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me was when a friend had JT and me over for Thanksgiving with her clan. She remembered that JT was a vegetarian and made him a zucchini lasagna.

That is what considerate hosts do: They provide for their guests and accommodate any food needs. It is gracious.

No. It is not even gracious.

It is required.

You feed your guests, period, even if you really didn’t want them to come to your house and invited them under duress, and you feed them what they can eat. Otherwise, you are – I will say it – a Bad Person.

But booze. That is a different category from food. Booze is not required for life. Am I supposed to buy Sly and Doris’ booze if they drink a lot of bourbon every night? How much above basic need am I supposed to supply? I will buy Lactaid if I have to, which wouldn't bother me if they were truly lactose intolerant, but they eat cheese, so how lactose-intolerant are they, really?

I don't expect my host to supply me with me diet Dr Pepper. Really, I don't. I know I have complained about the diet Dr Pepper supply at Sly and Doris’, but I truly do not expect someone to buy me expensive non-nutritive consumables.

I will eat and drink whatever is available chez vous. Water is a liquid that works just fine to hydrate a body. And liquor is not a necessity. What is the protocol here? Water yes, diet Dr Pepper no, booze no.

Primo: I think we’re fine. I don’t think we need to get anything. They’re not going to be drinking that much. We’ll have wine at dinner. That will be enough.

Bless. His. Heart. I love this guy.

Primo: If we run out, then they can figure it out. We can go without. We don’t care.

Me: Maybe they’ll drink the Jägermeister.

Primo: You’ve been wanting to get rid of it. I guess that would work.

Me: Should we maybe hide the Good Stuff in the basement? Just in case?

Primo: No! That’s rude. Besides, I don’t think it’s going to be a problem.