Primo: My mom wants to know what they should wear.
Me: It’s – a wedding. It’s a wedding in a church at 2:00 in the afternoon. Seems pretty simple to me.
Primo: You have seen how they dress.
Me: Can’t you tell them church clothes?
Primo: They don’t go to church, remember?
Me: Please ask them to wear something nice. Please ask your father to cover his toes. Please ask your mother to wear a bra.
Primo: My dad doesn’t want to wear shoes. He says he has not worn socks and shoes since they moved to Florida.
Me: Your dad cannot put on shoes for his son’s wedding?
Primo: It’s a point of pride with him.
Me: Great. I really want to see your dad’s gnarly feet at our wedding.