Here is what is in our liquor cabinet:
· A $24 bottle of fancy craft gin that we bought last year after we toured the distillery. It is unopened. We need to make friends with people who drink gin.
· All the weird stuff Primo had when I met him and that we have never opened, including crème de menthe, peach schnapps, Jägermeister, and not one but two bottles of coconut flavored rum. It will probably still be there when we die. Who drinks that stuff?
In 24 hours, I have another blood test, so I don’t really care what is going on with Sly and Doris. I’m just glad she was able to get out of bed this morning. First, do you know what a hassle it would be if she died in our house? Second, I want Sly to die first so Doris can have a few years without him.
Primo is dealing with them. As he should. They are his parents. No, he didn’t ask to be born to difficult people, but they are not my parents and I don’t want anything to do with them.
They ate breakfast before Primo got up. He makes himself something to eat and they talk about their plans for the morning, plans that do not include me, thank goodness.
Primo: Would you guys like me to give you a tour? I could drive you around town.
Primo: Would you like to go to a museum?
(You would think they would jump on that one, being the cultured people they are.)
Primo: Would you like to drink coffee and read the paper?
Primo: What would you like to do, then?
Sly: We need you to drive us to a liquor store.
Well. I guess they have company manners after all.
Primo: You can’t buy liquor here on Sundays. You can buy beer after noon, but no hard liquor.
Sly, for the first time I have ever seen, is speechless.
I guess we’ll get rid of that Jägermeister after all.